Notes
Outline
Junk Food Leads to High Bandwidth
Jim Buyens
Our Situation
Scientists have revealed a link between high calorie fast food and world-wide growth in Web-potato diameter.
Within three years, millions of mouse cords may be too short.
How Did This Happen?
As Web surfers have become greater and greater consumers of information, the same has been true for greaseburgers, fries, and Jolt.
Pizza deliveries are up 315%.
Alternatives Considered
Placebo enchiladas.
Virtual caffeine.
Electronic cheeseburgers.
RealTaste.
Recommendation or Decision
Campaigns involving slender young models have not proven effective to date.
Culinary education is a must.
Must develop sense of dietary political correctness.
Our Vision for the Future
Reduction in chair failures.
Increase in virtual fitness.
Highly wired community.
Summary
Remember: Your body houses a computer.
Treat it carefully for minimum down time.